Shades of Heero
by VegaLume-San
Summary: Duo has to try and come to terms with the loss of his husband, but all is not what it seems.


Started & finished October 29th 2008

Title: Shades of Heero

Author: Vega-Lume  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, I make no money from this blah,blah,blah,

Beta: (Hymie *wink)  
Warnings: Angsty, For Halloween, nuf said :p Pairings: 1x2x1

Rating: PG *gasp*  
Final proof read & Title by: presser_kun

Shades of Heero By Vel

The crunch of cold breakfast cereal drowned out the gentle drone of the morning news anchor as she spoke of unimportant things, smiling her glossy, oh-so-cheerful smile that disgusted most people with its insincerity at five-thirty in the morning.

Swallowing the last of the milk, the diner stood to place the now empty bowl with its Lucky Charms residue in the sink when some sudden change in Miss Too-Fucking-Cheerful-for-Pre-dawn's voice caught his attention. Turning slightly, he was just able to see the far left side of the vid screen, but at his angle, he still really couldn't see anything.

Taking a step towards the other room, the sound became clearer and he was finally able to hear what the woman on the screen was saying. He froze in shock, the bowl slipping from his slack hands to shatter at his feet at the very moment the phone began to ring┘

He hadn't spoken in days, not even when his friends had to break down his front door. Une had called the moment she had learned of it, but her call came too late to spare one of her agents the pain of learning that his husband had been killed. No one should find out that way, not from the television.

The press had had a field day. Breaking news! Magnificent war hero killed in flaming plane crash! More at eleven!

Heero

Duo didn't want to think what that empty black casket draped with the E.S.U.N. flag meant.

The plane had disintegrated; there was nothing left to bury. Nothing. Just an empty coffin and the empty hearts of the ones left behind.  
Relena was there, sobbing gently on her husband's shoulder as he ran a soothing hand up and down her arm. Duo had never seen his Chinese friend look so lost before. If Wufei looked that bad, he hated to think how he himself looked.

Quatre and Trowa stood side by side, both stone-faced and bruised-eyed. They had spent the last few days spending every waking hour at Duo's side, helping him as they tried to cope with their own grief.

Une was there as well, Sally, Zechs, and Noin at her side. These nine attendees were the only ones allowed graveside; all others would attend a memorial service inside the church later that afternoon, long after Duo and his companions had left.

He didn't hear any of the speeches, prayers, or the words of condolence spoken at the grave. All Duo wanted was to go home to the last place he had seen Heero alive, where he could still smell him and feel his warmth.

Not out in the frigid fall air staring blankly at a cold, empty coffin.

He jumped slightly, startled when a folded flag entered his field of vision. Une stood before him, her cheeks wet with tears, the profound sadness of not being able to warn him before the news aired still fresh and raw in her once-warm brown eyes.

Duo nodded to her once, lifting his gloved hands, palm up to receive the flag. She seemed to struggle with herself the moment the flag left her hands, then, without any warning, she threw her arms around the braided man, whispering her "I'm so sorrys" in his ear.

Shifting the flag to his left hand, he raised his right to pat her back gently. A moment later Sally was there, gently easing them apart. She gave Duo's shoulder a pat, then guided Une to a waiting car.

Quatre and Trowa descended on him then, ushering him to another car. Though the car was warm inside, Duo didn't feel it. He only felt warm when he was at home.

The ride back to his apartment was quiet, each man lost in his own thoughts. The driver quietly announced that they were there, and before either of his friends could react, Duo was out of the car, closing the door behind him.

"Duo what┘" Quatre began, confusion lacing his voice.

"I'll be alright, Kat," Duo replied softly in a voice rough from not being used in several days.  
"Are you sure?" Trowa tried, edging his way closer to the window.

Duo quirked a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, you take him back to the hotel and both of you get some rest. I'll be fine."

Trowa returned the smile with a tiny one of his own. "We'll be back for dinner. We'll pick up something and eat in, okay?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." Duo agreed. Though he felt empty at Heero's loss, he knew his beloved husband wouldn't want him to wallow in his grief.

They said their "See you laters," and Duo turned to enter his apartment alone.

After unlocking the door, he stepped inside and closed it behind him. Setting his keys on the small doorside table, he inhaled deeply through his nose, relishing Heero's scent, which was still so strong that if he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine the Japanese man was there.

Slipping his coat from his shoulders, he hung it on a peg and turned to face the darkened room and screamed.

Heero

The Japanese man was seated on the sofa, staring intently at the blank television screen.

He didn't flinch, nor did he question the sudden, startled outburst from his husband. In fact, he didn't even seem to notice that Duo was in the room with him.

"Heero?" Duo whispered, taking a tentative step forward.

There was no reply. Drawing a deep, shuddering breath, the braided man took another step forward and clicked on the lamp that sat on the table next to the sofa.

Heero vanished the moment the light turned on. Shocked, Duo clicked the lamp off again, but the couch remained empty.

"I'm losing my mind," He mumbled to himself, running a shaky hand through his bangs as he sat heavily in the spot where he had seen Heero sitting. Though he truly thought that the vision was a figment of his imagination brought on by the tragic loss of his husband and lack of sleep, he could have sworn that the cushions were warm.

The ringing of the doorbell startled him out of his fitful doze, banishing his dreams of Heero seen in flashes of light.

Grinding the heels of his palms against his eyes, he rose to let Quatre and Trowa in before they broke down the door again.

The three sat around the dining room table picking at the expensive meal Quatre had chosen in hopes of enticing Duo to eat more then a few bites. His hopes were in vain when the braided mad pushed his plate aside, his meal for the most part untouched.

"Sorry guys," he apologized. I think that I'd rather just sleep right now."

Quatre smiled softly, his eyes still filled with pain as he rose to run a loving hand over Duo's head. "Would you like us to stay the night?"

"Naw, you guys go back to the hotel and get some more rest," Duo replied softly. "I'm gonna turn in."

The pair left a short while later after making Duo promise to call them if he needed anything at all.

Duo spent a half an hour or so showering, hoping the scalding water would bring back some of the warmth the day had leached from his body.

After dressing for bed, he checked the door and windows before turning out the lights.

As the lamp winked out, a flash of white caught his eye. Turning his head slightly to the left, Duo bit back another startled cry.  
Heero stood near the door, dressed in the same outfit that Duo had last seen him wear. The Japanese man was still as death, his eyes focused on the empty space before him.

Duo swallowed roughly, his eyes suddenly feeling unbearably dry, but he fought the urge to blink, fearing that Heero would disappear again.

"Heero?" He called out and to his shock Heero's head turned towards him.

His husband was mostly transparent and faintly luminescent, testifying to the fact that Heero was physically not there.  
The pale, ghostly lips moved, and though no sound was heard, Duo clearly read his name.

"Gods, this isn't real," Duo groaned, closing his eyes and dry-washing his face.

He let his hands drop and simply stood there with his eyes closed as he drew deep breaths through his nose. He jumped a moment later when something warm like a breath ghosted across his cheek. He snapped his eyes open just in time to see Heero's hand drop away from his cheek, a look of sadness in his iridescent eyes.

Raising his own hand to said cheek, Duo was surprised to find it wet.

"You┘you're dead. Why are you here?" Duo whispered, not entirely sure what was going on. Was he crazy? Did he fall asleep? Did he slip in the shower and hit his head?

Heero's ghostly shoulders shrugged.

"You know you're dead, right?"

Heero nodded.

"Okay, then. I'm talking to my dead husband's ghost," Duo said suddenly, fear dominating his usually sarcastic tone. "I think I need to lie down."

Heero's ghostly face showed alarm as Duo suddenly rushed into the bedroom and shut the door.

As doors had no real meaning to him now, Heero followed, watching as Duo crawled into bed, pulling the blankets over his head.

"Please don't watch me." Duo mumbled, "I┘I can't deal with this right now. Please go away." Peeling the blanket down a bit so he could see, Duo watched as Heero's ghostly form seemed to deflate. He flickered in and out of sight for a moment before nodding once.

Suddenly afraid, Duo shouted, "Not forever; just go in the other room for a while."

The ghost brightened, flashing Duo a small, sweet smile before slipping through the door. Literally.

The ringing of the doorbell roused him from sleep again and Duo at up in bed with a start.  
It was just a dream, he thought as he climbed from his bed and wrapped his robe around himself.

He didn't bother to check who was at the door, knowing that it was Quatre and Trowa with breakfast.

"Good morning Duo," Trowa greeted, a paper bag in one hand and a travel tray of coffee cups in the other.

"Fast food?" Duo questioned, seeing those famous golden arches gracing the bag.

Quatre snorted softly, "It wasn't my idea."

"Thanks, Tro." Duo smiled as he led his guests into the kitchen where they dined on eggs and processed meat between English muffins. The coffee was bitter, but the whole greasy meal was divine.

"We're going back to L4 today," Quatre said suddenly. "I would have liked to have told you sooner, but I only just learned about it this morning."

"I understand," Duo replied sincerely. "You have more important things to do than bring me food three times a day"  
"We do hate to leave you so soon," Trowa added.

"Don't worry about it, really." Duo told them "I have a feeling that everything is going to be alright"  
"If you really think┘"

"Kat, go home," Duo interrupted.

"Come on." Trowa added, grasping Quatre's elbow and guiding from his chair. "We still have to pack."

"We'll call as soon as we land," Quatre called as he was tugged out the door.

With a sigh, Duo turned to the bag on the table and pulled out the last sandwich. He peeled back the paper and took a big bite, only to choke on it. Swallowing roughly, he grabbed his coffee, washing down the rest, then glared across the table.

"Don't do that," he shouted, momentarily forgetting the idea that this was all a dream. "Learn how to make some noise or something."

Heero's ghost flashed an apologetic smile, and then shrugged as if saying "I'm open for any suggestions."

"Hmm, why do you suppose you can't make sounds?" Duo asked absently before taking another bite of his cooling meal.

Heero looked thoughtful for a moment, raising a hand and looking through it. He was slightly less transparent now, leaning closer to opaque, though he still glowed faintly.

With an inaudible sigh, he dropped his hand, and though it went through the table, it knocked over Trowa's empty cup.

Duo froze, mouth open wide, sandwich poised for a bite. "Did┘did you just knock over that cup?"

"I think so," Heero mouthed.

Shaking his head suddenly, Duo set his sandwich aside. "This is insane. I'm insane. You're dead, you can't be here."

Heero spread his arms as if saying "But I am here."

"I know what it looks like," Duo snapped "It's just you┘I don't understand why┘"

Heero's ghost deflated again, his arms dropping to his sides.

Dry-washing his face, Duo looked up at the ghostly apparition of the man he loved "I'm happy I was able to see you again, to have the chance to tell you that I love you, but I really don't think I can deal with this." He paused then and smiled sadly. "I┘I think it would be best for now if┘if┘"

Heero vanished.

Days passed. Quatre's call had come and gone, followed by several others. Relena and Wufei stopped by to visit, as did Une.

Waking up each morning and going to bed each night alone was the hardest part of adjusting to a life without Heero. His friends made sure to keep his days filled, his mind focused on other things, but he knew that he wasn't alone.

Though he couldn't see him, Heero was still around. Things would move when he wasn't looking. His coat, draped across the back of the sofa would be hanging from its peg.

The remote would move from the floor back onto the coffee table. His cereal bowl, left on the table would be found in the sink. Even the empty toilet roll would be replaced.

Then one morning a week later, on his first day back to work, Duo had had enough.

"Heero! Where are my keys?" There was no sound as his ghostly husband approached, but Duo noticed when the couch cushions shifted and his car keys floated out from between them.

"Thanks," he said softly, then added, "I'll see you when I get home."

Heero didn't reappear at that moment, but Duo was certain he felt a warm hand brush his cheek.

After that moment, their relationship changed. As the days went by, Heero was able to interact more with his surroundings, but he wasn't able to leave the apartment at all, not even to retrieve the morning paper.

He spent his time taking care of Duo the best way he could, and it showed to Duo's friends. Ever since his first day back at work, they all noticed a marked improvement in their braided friend.

He seemed healthy; he ate heartily, looked well rested, and smiled often. The same as he did when Heero was alive.

They were all confused and assumed he was in denial. Then one night when Wufei and Relena stopped by with a surprise supper, they were shocked to hear Duo speaking aloud and saying Heero's name as if he were actually having a conversation with him.

But when Duo answered the knock, he seemed perfectly normal.

"Duo," Wufei began, setting his fork aside, "Relena and I are worried about you. We heard you talking to Heero when we arrived."

The braided man went ashen, his fork slipping from slack fingers.

"Um┘heh, heh."

"Don't just laugh like that. We're really worried about you. This isn't healthy," Wufei said firmly.

"Um, Fei, look behind you real fast." Wufei glanced over his shoulder, then tuned back to Duo, he opened his mouth to scold him again then froze. The color drained from his face as he slowly turned again.

Heero's ghost stood in the doorway, watching the goings on in the dining area. At Wufei's gaping mouth and startled expression he smiled slightly and gave a tiny wave. Startled by her husband's sudden change, Relena turned as well to see what he was looking at.

A piercing scream rang out through the apartment, followed by a thud as she fainted, sliding from her chair onto the floor. Wufei's shock was so strong that he didn't even have the chance to react in time to catch his wife before she fell.

"Y┘Heero?" The ghost nodded slightly and Wufei toppled over, joining Relena on the floor.

"Well, that was amusing," Duo commented, taking a bite form his meal.

Heero simply rolled his eyes.

"Has┘has he always been here?" Wufei asked, shifting the bag of frozen peas he was using in lieu of an icepack for his head.

"He showed up the day of the memorial," Duo replied, dabbing Relena's brow with a cool, damp cloth. "He's still taking care of me, the way he did before."

Wufei glanced over at the ghost, who was hovering behind the sofa.

"Why?"

"We don't know. I've been looking into hauntings and such, but no one really knows why souls stick around."

Heero mouthed something over Wufei's shoulder where only Duo could see, causing the braided man to smile brightly.

"What?" Wufei asked with a perplexed expression.

"Heero said he's here because he loves me," Duo answered

"You know, Quatre and Trowa should know this, too."

Duo chewed his lip for a moment then glanced at Heero, who nodded in return.

"Alright."

A call was made to L4, and one wide-eyed brunette and freaked-out blond later, every one of Heero's close friends now knew that he was a ghost, haunting the home he shared with his husband.

Another week passed in much the same way as the first one. Duo worked, Heero took care of the apartment as best he could, and friends would come to visit every other day or so.

Then suddenly it changed.

Duo came home from work one night and he knew the instant he walked through the door that something was wrong.

The room was cold, colder then he ever remembered it being. All of the lights were out, again, something that never happened after Heero's death, not even when Duo went to bed.

"Heero?" He called tentatively. There was no reply. He tried again but with the same result.

Throwing his coat on the sofa, he began checking rooms, leaving every light on in his wake. When he made it to the bedroom he finally found the one he sought.

Heero sat curled in the far corner, his knees drawn up to his chest.

"Love?"

The ghostly head rose. He seemed blurry somehow, like he was behind fogged glass, and he was far more transparent then he had ever been.  
"I'm fading," Heero mouthed, and Duo felt the tears fill his eyes.

"Please don't go┘please.┘" a ghostly hand rose to brush his cheek, and the feeling of a warm spring breeze washed over him.

"I love you," Heero said, his voice finally audible, and the barest of whispers.

"I love you too." Duo sobbed quietly.

Moments later he was gone.

Duo managed to pull himself together long enough to call Wufei, who then spread the word to the others before rushing to Duo's home to comfort the grieving man who had had to cope with the loss of his husband twice in less than three weeks.  
He and Relena stayed with Duo as he endured the pain and loss all over again.

Three days after Heero's ghost vanished, the braided man was waked at a quarter to three in the morning by the incessant ringing of the telephone.

"M'what!" he grumbled into the receiver after the phone rang for the sixth time.

"Duo?" The inquiring voice was scratchy and harsh.

"H┘Heero? You┘you're alive┘" the braided man breathed.

"Yes, I'm in a hospital in Scottstown." He replied.

"I don't understand┘the crash┘" Duo mumbled in confusion.

"I jumped from the plane when it passed over the river. I was in a coma until three days ago," Heero explained quietly, his voice a bit horse from lack of use.

"Gods, I don't believe it," Duo whispered in denial, but Heero continued to talk to him in soothing tones until the night nurse realized that he was on the phone and made him hang up.

Duo sat in bed for almost three hours before he finally hung up the phone, only to pick it up again a few moments later.

Wufei was shocked, to say the least, when he learned that Heero was still alive. Quatre and Trowa were called as well as Une, who made it her personal duty to drive, Duo, Wufei, and Relena to Scottstown Memorial to see Heero.

They learned that Heero dreamed about being home at the same time Duo and the others saw his spirit. And the day he faded away was the day he woke from the coma.

No one knows why it happened or even how it happened, but both Duo and Heero were grateful it did.

Owari

A/N Okay, I so totally blame the movie "Ghost Dad" for this fic. I saw it a few times when I was little, then just for the hell of it I watched it on On Demand a few months ago and got the idea for this fic. But then I lost the idea and didn't think about it again until, um, today!  
So I hope it didn't suck too much, considering that I wrote it in the time it took me to watch "The Da Vinci Code!"


End file.
